4 Signs You're In a Passive Aggressive Relationship

Conscious Procrastinating to Gain Control

One sign of passive aggressive behavior is procrastination—the act of putting off that which needs to be done. A lot of people procrastinate, but typically it is a subconscious decision. With someone who is passive aggressive, it is often a conscious decision. Deliberately forgetting, stalling or making excuses, the passive aggressive will delay completing the request until the very last moment, or later. Procrastinating is a form of rebellion and an attempted power play. Passive-aggressive people try to gain control or get a rise out of you and procrastination is one way they do this.

Saying “Yes” but Meaning “No”

Saying “yes” but meaning “no” is phrases such as “No, nothing's wrong, I’m fine,” “Sure,” or “I’m not upset.” You may have heard these phrases before from your partner. While these comments seem like nothing, they may hold so much more meaning than they seem on the surface. In order to avoid an argument or confrontation, saying “yes” but really meaning “no” is one of the most common types of passive aggressive behaviors in relationships. They find it easier to disregard and ignore confrontation or feeling vulnerable and have given up on trying to work things out.  The passive aggressive person uses phrases like “Fine” or “I’m not mad” to indirectly express their anger and to shut down what could be direct and emotionally honest communication.

Critical Remarks Disguised As Humor

Often disguised as humor, people who exhibit passive aggressive behaviors like to make critical remarks to express their hostility toward you or their displeasure about a situation. They hope to maintain psychological superiority over you by making you look and feel bad. If confronted about being sarcastic, a common response is to deny by saying something like, “just kidding!” or “can’t you take a joke?” Sarcasm is an all-too common tool of a passive aggressive person who expresses their hostility aloud but in an indirect way, according to Psychology Today.

The Silent Treatment to Punish You

According to Out of the Fog, silent treatment is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. It is extremely hurtful and devastating to the recipient. It is a way of deliberately not communicating with you. The passive aggressive sends that message that you have done something to displease him or her—that you “did something wrong” and should be punished for it.  The silent treatment is a hurtful and common form of passive aggressive confrontation that can last from as little as a few hours to months or even years.

Are you in a Passive Aggressive Relationship?

After reading the warning signs, are you in a relationship like this? It’s undoubtedly frustrating and often devastating to deal with a partner with passive aggressive behavior. It is possible to improve the quality of your relationship to go back to enjoying the very best of each other. At NewPoint of View, my primary focus as your therapist is to help you create the beautiful, loving, and fulfilling life you envisioned when you first became a couple. Do you find these warning signs ringing true for you? While you may be quick to spot when passive aggressive behavior is happening to you, it’s difficult to know when we’re doing it. Whether you exhibit passive aggressive behavior or you are in a passive aggressive relationship, there is help.

Solutions to Passive Aggressive Behavior

Whether you are seeking help yourself, or your partner is exhibiting these signs of passive aggressive behavior, there are solutions for you. It’s important to recognize passive aggressive behavior in your partner or within yourself, confront it and create a safe space to communicate in more assertive ways.

Are you ready for change? Why wait?

Contact NewPoint of View Counseling today to get started on the path of hope and healing! As a professional therapist, I look forward to helping you to live your most authentic life, filled with love, trust, and relationship satisfaction. I can provide you with helpful tools and solutions to work on your passive aggressive relationship or behavior to achieve more joy in your life.    

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References: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201508/10- signs-passive- aggressive-relationship https://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with- a-passive- aggressive-partner/ https://passiveaggressiveabuse.wordpress.com/passive-aggressive- behavior/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201508/10- signs-passive- aggressive-relationship https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201511/10- signs-youre- in-relationship-passive-aggressive http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/passive-aggression https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive- diaries/201305/confronting-passive-aggressive- behavior https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/3462-signs- you-re- being-passive- aggressive