Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Silence, Hurt, Unhappiness, Loneliness.
These are but some of the symptoms that can create loss of intimacy and relationship problems.
Intimacy. This concept can both be frightening and fulfilling depending on where you are in your relationship. Intimacy is not just about sex, it is a connection that builds over time between two people. Humans are wired for intimate contact, when we have meaningful attachments our overall health and happiness increases. With little or impoverished intimacy the result is often depression and anxiety. Trust, emotional closeness and being connected physically all play a part in creating intimacy.
Relationship Issues: 3 Must-Tackle Topics
If you sometimes feel isolated in your relationship or from family and friends consider these common barriers that prevent deeper intimacy and connections. You may have trouble regulating your emotions. For example, a key issue with people struggling with anxiety is a fear of loss and not being good enough. This can create problems as the fear may lead to over-controlling behaviors and isolation of the loved one. This impacts intimacy as the person cannot truly connect to the love one without this fear of loss.
Another issue is fear of failure and not being good enough. This can create barriers as well, since the person with self-esteem issues may berate the partner or over-react due to their own negative self-evaluation leading to intimacy problems. Addressing intimacy issues with your partner can be quite fear-inducing and it’s common for most to shy away from the subject altogether. However, when you tackle your intimacy relationship issues head-on, you will be able to move forward in solving them.
Not addressing intimacy issues in your relationship can lead to resentments, hurt, lack of forgiveness, loneliness and isolation. Untreated mental illness can create intimacy issues where one partner may try to placate the other to keep the peace while building resentments.
If both partners are open and honest about their hopes and fears and able to talk about them in a way that shows love and respect for the other person, intimacy builds. If one partner is always walking on eggshell for fear of the other persons emotions this erodes true intimacy.
The ability to be open and vulnerable in our relationships is a key factor in building intimacy. Consider how difficult it is to build intimacy if you are continually worrying about what the other person thinks of you? The ability to connect with others require self-love as intimacy is about awareness of yourself and partner as separate beings with differing needs and being open to meeting these needs. Often when we lack confidence that we can get our needs met we engage in emotional manipulation or passive aggressive behaviors. These may get your needs met temporarily but you lose connections with those you care about the most.
Intimacy requires time and patience. If you don’t spend quality time with your partner it will be difficult to develop an intimate relationship! Life can be hectic and that can be problematic for those seeking to work on their relationship issues. Quality time can be custom tailored to fit your busy life. It might be enough to have coffee together each morning or that you leave time before bed to fill each other in about your day. Whatever way you choose to spend time together, make sure you give each other your full attention to ensure you strengthen that emotional connection.
It takes commitment and determination to get intimacy back in the relationship, but it’s not impossible. At NewPoint of View, my primary focus as your counselor is to help you create the beautiful, loving, and fulfilling life you envisioned when you first became a couple.
My approach is strength-based, focusing on what is working in your relationship and what needs to change to achieve more joy and fulfillment in your life as a couple. Let’s write the next chapter of your life together – one based on love, strength and honest communication. Call me today to schedule your initial appointment!
Ready to get started? Contact NewPoint of View today!